The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love. Psalm 147:11
With a joyful and excited mood, I started my fourth CI in Taichung.
Before our first teacher training, we had fun going to Xi Tou Bamboo Forest and had wisdom search every morning.
But I quickly found out that I do not fit in with these "American friends" because their culture was totally different than mine and the speed at which they talk was so fast that I could not figure it out.
Every conversation became very hard for me.
Being the only one who "didn't grow up in America", suddenly I felt very sad, disappointed in myself, even complaining:
"Why am I not an ABC [American Born Chinese]? Why I can't have good English just like them? "
God taught me when Miss Karen taught the principle of Design to us.
God, because of His love, has a plan, a purpose, and a design for each person, including me.
Miss Karen reminded me that He never make mistakes even when people do.
When we feel down, or we think we can't do something, there is always a powerful God to whom we can turn for help, to be filled with love, grace and strength forever.
We will have confidence in Christ.
One night at dinner, Miss Kristi also encouraged me: God wanted me to be Chinese, He knows that He can use a Chinese girl to accomplish His work.
If I am not Chinese, there is no need to be here.
Then the lesson of the Bag of Brushes dawned on me: I am just like a kind of brush that He needs in his hand.
If I want to change the kind I am, God can't use me to paint a beautiful picture and I can't honor Him either.
Angel in large group with one of her students
That night in my room, I prayed to God with guilt.
I begged God to forgive me because of my pride and an ungrateful heart, to change my heart with His grace and humility.
Please use me and let me follow Your way to honor Your name.
Like the Lost and Found son, I knelt down in front of my Heavenly Father with tears.
I kept being a little teacher and an interpreter for several days, until one day in Kaohsiung I felt kind of tired of serving these kids.
As I interpreted all night, stopped children from doing something bad, reminded them to concentrate on lessons, explained everything to their parents, etc, I discovered that I was out of patience, and even a little angry.
"I don't know what to do!" I yelled at myself.
Just the next day, in the afternoon, Miss Karen taught us the principle of suffering and some ways to help children.
Things like understanding the purpose for helping them, letting kids take responsibility, giving children opportunities to succeed, and "DO NOT RESPOND TO THEM WITH ANGER".
Suddenly I felt sooooo embarrassed.
After the teacher training, I prayed to God to give me strength and patience to face every situation, to give me a heart with His love to love these children, to be a person who really has patience inside and not just teaching the lessons without character.
Then the night started.
It was an amazing night.
When I tried to use patience while doing things the children were very obedient and focused on every lesson.
At first I had to prepare the story "Grace's Gift", but I was wondering if there were some better ideas since I thought maybe they already heard the story many times.
At about nine o'clock, while I was listening to the story in the large group, God just gave me an idea: Share your story from the third year in high school.
I told them how I overcame every problem with God's grace, how I learned to be patient with His leading when I knew I failed in my interview with the professors with a really sad heart.
I prayed to God to show me the way He wanted me to follow and studied more than twelve hours a day for a month preparing the exam.
I told the kids: "When the moment I turned to my application, I said "Lord, no matter which way You want me to go, I will follow You and be patient with it."
I give up my right, my ownership, my everything."
After saying that sentence, they seemed to understand what patience was indeed when I looked at their eyes.
While telling the story, I said I am just like the craft scratch-art paper.
When God scratches me, I feel great pain and sadness, but after God scratches the ashes for me, I just found out there is a beautiful picture in my life through His benevolent hands.
I am very happy to be here this year, and I also so glad that God can bless these children through me, a little brush.
I thank God for teaching me leadership by His words and His examples, helping me to lead these children and work with my leaders and the assistants in my team.
With His forever grace, the least thing I can do is burn myself in front of Him; follow Him with humility, obedience and patience, because of His love.
"When Jesus came, born as a pure and spotless lamb,
When Jesus came, he loved me, sinful though I am
University student from Taiwan